Our expectations from others

 

Our expectations from others

Expectation means predicting the future behaviour of others.  Letting our happiness be dependent on their behaviour and then feeling let down if they do not behave as we had predicted.

People around us will behave and work according to their capacity, we can share with them what we feel is right, but cannot expect that they will always do it our way.

When we do something for others, we do it according to our values and capacity. To expect the same from others is unfair to them. We need to understand they will behave only according to their capacity. Let us not give up our qualities because others did not respond the way we expected.

Expectations can however be put to a powerful use.  To expect the best of someone is to have a vision of them performing at their best.  To create that vision is to transmit that vision to them which is a form of empowering them with the energy of encouragement.  And the same applies to our self.  It is no accident that in the last decade all the top sports men and women have resorted less to the adrenaline ‘hit’ to induce peak performance, and more to visualising their own ‘excellence’ before going anywhere near the tennis court and the golf course etc.  They build such a positive vision of themselves that when they do go out and perform they reach their peak with greater ease.  They don’t expect to fail but they are prepared to fail.  So when you expect the best of your child or your employee or your partner you have created a positive and elevated vision of them, which they can sense coming from you.  And when they see that you don’t become unhappy and upset when they don’t get there exactly when or in the way you expected, they still feel your support, they still feel your encouragement, they are still empowered by your authentic ‘care’ about them.  You cease to ‘transmit’ to them that they are responsible for your happiness. They cease to feel the pressure of another’s expectations.  They are no longer disempowered by your narrow concern for your own happiness.  They no longer fear your ‘emotional reaction’ if they don’t reach the stars… exactly… on time!

 

To transform an expectation of the other into an empowering vision for the other is possibly one of the greatest gifts anyone can give to …anyone!