Our expectations from others

 

Our expectations from others

Expectation means predicting the future behaviour of others.  Letting our happiness be dependent on their behaviour and then feeling let down if they do not behave as we had predicted.

People around us will behave and work according to their capacity, we can share with them what we feel is right, but cannot expect that they will always do it our way.

When we do something for others, we do it according to our values and capacity. To expect the same from others is unfair to them. We need to understand they will behave only according to their capacity. Let us not give up our qualities because others did not respond the way we expected.

Expectations can however be put to a powerful use.  To expect the best of someone is to have a vision of them performing at their best.  To create that vision is to transmit that vision to them which is a form of empowering them with the energy of encouragement.  And the same applies to our self.  It is no accident that in the last decade all the top sports men and women have resorted less to the adrenaline ‘hit’ to induce peak performance, and more to visualising their own ‘excellence’ before going anywhere near the tennis court and the golf course etc.  They build such a positive vision of themselves that when they do go out and perform they reach their peak with greater ease.  They don’t expect to fail but they are prepared to fail.  So when you expect the best of your child or your employee or your partner you have created a positive and elevated vision of them, which they can sense coming from you.  And when they see that you don’t become unhappy and upset when they don’t get there exactly when or in the way you expected, they still feel your support, they still feel your encouragement, they are still empowered by your authentic ‘care’ about them.  You cease to ‘transmit’ to them that they are responsible for your happiness. They cease to feel the pressure of another’s expectations.  They are no longer disempowered by your narrow concern for your own happiness.  They no longer fear your ‘emotional reaction’ if they don’t reach the stars… exactly… on time!

 

To transform an expectation of the other into an empowering vision for the other is possibly one of the greatest gifts anyone can give to …anyone!

 

Expectations of others from us

 

Expectations of others from us

If people have expectations from us - we need to understand we cannot fulfill all of them. We need to be comfortable with what we are doing. If someone expects us to do something - we do it for their happiness - that still means we are doing it for ourselves (because their happiness matters to us) - not for them.

We need to make it our own and do it for ourselves because then we will be ready to take personal responsibility.

If we cannot do it - we need to convey it with the right energy - that we do not mean to offend, but it is not possible for us.

TRUSTING

 

TRUSTING

Is nice to know that you are genuinely trying to implement whatever you are learning. Trust is a value which is to be understood and implemented properly. 

 

When you say people are not worth, it becomes a little unfair.  Each one is essentially a pure soul, and this is not something to know, but to practice. Trusting becomes easy when we understand deeply that each one is that pure energy, irrespective of their behaviour now. Who are we to decide who is worthy and who is not. If people are like what we think they should be then they are worthy and if they are not then we feel they are not worthy. People are what they are, we have to decide what we want to feel about them.  

 

We need to understand what trust means - it first means to actually trust that each one is that pure conscient energy. To accept that what they are saying is what they mean. That does not mean that we need to trust them with our lives or put anything that we have at stake. It is all about looking at others with that positive energy and hence transmitting that energy to them. When we really trust people with this purest intention and not on the physical level that we did till now, they will live upto that trust.  

 

If we feel someone is not worthy, or someone might break my trust - then what quality energy are we transmitting towards them. When we are sending negative energy, we will automatically invoke those quality thoughts in them. When we send positive energy we invoke those thoughts in them.  

 

If someone does something which we feel they shouldn't have, that is also okay. There is no such thing as 'they broke my trust'. We trusted them that is a choice we made, it was our decision - whether they behave in that way or not is their choice - they have not forced us to trust them. They are what they are – you need to accept people as they are. 

HAPPINESS

 

HAPPINESS

Happiness is an inner feeling. It is an energy which gets created by the power of our thoughts. It is not something physical and hence cannot be attained by anything physical. Happiness is in our control and not dependent on any person or object. One can be be happy with very little materialistic comforts and one can be unhappy even if he has everything. There is no connection between the two. 

 

But at the same time we need to take care of the materialistic comforts of our family members. You are responsible for looking after the needs of your family. 

You need to evaluate what is the reason you have not worked in one place for long, is it because you didn't enjoy the work or was it difficulty in getting along with the people there. Find out the reason and then you can start working on the solution. You seem to be disinterested in life, you will have to bring back that enthusiasm in yourself again. 

 

Life is what we want to make it. Take out some time everyday to sit in silence and start introspection and giving direction to your self. It will take you only one thought to make your life interesting again. Talk to yourself and tell yourself - you have everything and you are going to make your life more beautiful than you had ever imagined. Start doing the job you like and then decide that you will not leave the job now for a fixed time, decide the time before you begin the job. Do not give yourself the option to leave then you will automatically start adjusting in those circumstances. You seem to quit easily, whatever you do you will do with determination now. 

Negativity and feelings of hopelessness is common, it happens with most of us once in a while, but we have to come out of it. Rajyoga Meditation helps us in understanding our true potential, our strengths and qualities. It gives a direction to our life. It helps us to know God and establish a very personal relationship with him. Positive thinking gradually becomes very natural and we always remain motivated. Life becomes very beautiful.

Overcoming Fear

 

FEAR

Fear is often referred to as False Experience Appearing Real – which means we misuse our faculty of imagination to ‘imagine’ some future loss and then give it the status of present reality. 

It may be loss of an object, loss of health, loss of a comfort zone, loss of anything.  It’s simply worry.  So instead of creating images of the worst possible outcome (loss) we can turn our thinking, our ‘imaging’ around, and visualise the best, the positive, the anastrophe and not the catastrophe.  But don’t make it a desire, don’t get attached to your vision.  Just create it, let it go, and return to live in the present moment.

Rajyoga Meditation enables us to overcome all our fears and live life powerfully.

QUICK DECISION-MAKING POWER

 

QUICK DECISION-MAKING POWER

Quick and right decisions can be taken by a silent mind. A silent mind is one which is positive. Negative thoughts are too many in number and therefore create a confusion, and then even if the solution is clearly in front of you, you will not be able to see it. When we develop the habit of creating positive thoughts, then only the right kind of thoughts emerge and taking decisions is very easy. When the mind is silent, we do not have to think very logically, the right solution emerges from the intution and it is a solution which we would have never thought of logically.  

Positive Thinking

 

POSITIVE THINKING 

Positive thinking is developed with constant attention and practice. Through out the day, stop in between for a minute and watch what is going on in your mind, if it is not the right kind of thought- stop and change it. Start talking to your mind gently, guide it and it will listen to you. Whenever any unnecessary or waste thought comes - tell your mind this is not useful for you or for your relationships and change it. Try and look at your mind for at least 1 minute in every hour. In the morning when u begin the day sit in silence for 5 minutes and programme your mind with positive thoughts. for eg: 

1. I will remain peaceful today irrespective of whatever happens today. Anger will not come to me.

2. Who ever I meet I will only look at their qualities, not weaknesses. I will not criticise anyone.

 

3. I am powerful, I can do what ever I decide to do.....

When your thoughts are positive concentration is higher, and hence your memory will improve.

 

Meditation helps greatly in developing this practice of positive thinking.